Tuesday, July 29, 2008

C'mon, Alaska, Yer Better Than That

I've taken to writing more longwinded posts in lieu of the quick hits on Slack LaLane, but we're going old school with this one.

Alaska's Ted "Bridge To Nowhere" Stevens, the longest-serving Republican Senator and former chairman of the Appropriations Committee, was indicted today on "seven counts of failing to disclose hundreds of thousands of dollars in services from an oil services company that helped renovate his home." No gouda.

The AP put out some biographical information about Stevens in the wake of his indictment, but it left out some key pieces: He's up for re-election, he's batshit crazy, he's a bumbling buffoon and he's got no business representing a lemonade stand, let alone a state and a country. I'm sure you all remember him for calling the Internet a "series of tubes" a few years back, but when's the last time you heard the two minutes that preceded that statement? Have you ever? In a million years, you'd never guess that this is a man charged with making public policy for 300 million people. Let's take an aural gander:

My 102-year-old great grandmother who still won't allow black people in her home and calls every Hispanic person "waiter" understands the world wide web better than this clown.


Sisto said...

Clowns are fun. My nephews love them.

Owen Milbury said...

You know what I hate? Getting tangled up in internet tubes. What a pain.

jakezebra said...

I don't know what you're talking about Ace, he's dead on with the statement - "The internet is not a big truck."

He's right, it's not, it's not a big truck at all.